tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8161302541470280750.post2368950082726898175..comments2023-07-06T08:28:15.848-04:00Comments on Mama days: imperfect parentingCali Lovetthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10959377832026957593noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8161302541470280750.post-78844716638308674532008-11-20T20:07:00.000-05:002008-11-20T20:07:00.000-05:00The last counseling session we talked about this a...The last counseling session we talked about this authoritative/harsh thing some more, and also about my switch to being just completely unmoved, undisturbed by the crazy behavior, and he said he thought w/ a 2-year-old the latter was more appropriate b/c they can't really control their behavior yet, and they don't make decisions based on disapproval. In fact, disapproval may just make them more anxious while they are still unable to do anything differently. He did feel like being disapproving was more effective with older children (8, say). He felt just being consistent w/ the timeout will allow them to eventually figure out how to behave appropriately. In any case, it feels better to me. I just put her in time out over an over, have her tell Clark she's sorry and then patiently pick her up moments later and put her back in timeout again, no personal investment from me. I think I'm a better mom this way than when I get irritated or angry.Cali Lovetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10959377832026957593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8161302541470280750.post-28338222292892522692008-11-20T08:44:00.000-05:002008-11-20T08:44:00.000-05:00Oh, I also can't figure out the difference btwn au...Oh, I also can't figure out the difference btwn authoritative and harsh. Or rather, in the moment, I don't even think about it, then realize later I was probably being harsh and am determined next time not to be. But then I am. Sometimes though I have the patience of Job and I'm able to keep calm - but, yes, maybe that's not authoritative enough? <BR/>Sigh. I has such an easy time with Ozzy as a baby, when everyone else was having such a hard time, and I felt so lucky. Now I feel so - overwhelmed, tested, like I'm constantly in the middle of an important therapy session trying to become a better person, and just so hugely freakin pregnant that I can't do so many things and so many things annoy the shit out of me...Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11531761365043335536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8161302541470280750.post-82607555982009642632008-11-20T08:39:00.000-05:002008-11-20T08:39:00.000-05:00This is a great post! It's especially hard I think...This is a great post! It's especially hard I think to go through this toddler stage - Ozzy does the EXACT same thing - some small thing that he gets frustrated with, but whatever I do makes it worse, but then stopping helping also is horrible, and by then it's way too late to distract him. Argh. And the constant NO - to stuff he loves! I hate to just overrule him or ignore him, but sometimes I know he's just saying NO to say it, and sometimes it's something we just don't have a choice about.<BR/><BR/>And he started a fever last night. So today should be a fun day.Paigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11531761365043335536noreply@blogger.com