There are days when being home with a little kid is just boring. I don't think Frances' sitter C thinks this—she finds it endlessly entertaining, it seems, which is why I love her so much, and why she's such a good sitter. But I . . . I can be pretty bored by reading books and doing puzzles and swinging on the baby swings in the park. And those are the more exciting activities—those are much different from the wrestling matches we have for changing diapers and wiping faces. She has opinions now, you know, and expresses them loudly. M mentioned on the phone that he took her to Barnes and Noble today and what she wanted most to do was not play in the kids section, but look at—and tear the pages out of—the grown-up books. When he wouldn't let her do this, she threw a complete fit, utter angst and drama, big tears in the B&N. And there's not much to be done about that. She wants to play outside; then it's time to come in, but she doesn't think so, and omigoodness the drama when I bring her in anyway.
And these days I work 3 days/week; I have a break from babyworld. I have a lovely commute in which I listen to the radio and have conversations with myself. What on earth is it going to be like when I'm home all the time? When I'm home all the time with TWO of them?? I think the answer is playgroups. Playgroups where the kids entertain each other and I can have conversation with adults at the same time. (other suggestions welcome!!) I'll be home with the girl full time for about 6 weeks before the new baby comes... The problem right now is that most all of my mom friends also work so don't have time to schedule social events. I'll have to find some new friends, I suppose.
It will be good practice for NY anyway.
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Are you able to accomplish much writing while you are at home? I mean aside from the blog, which is a good thing too. Or is it too hard to tune too deeply into a focused project like that while mischief might be occurring?
Oh, I have to say: I've pretty much given up writing in any formal or serious way for the time being. I plan on writing again in the future, but the next venture (when I have a little physical and emotional space) will be jewelry design. I was working on that before F was born and will do it again when we move to NY. But writing... I don't know... it's so taxing for me, requires so much of my SELF, so much energy--not just to sit and write, which is hard, but all the brain work that goes on even before you come to the page. It's just more than I can give right now.
I can totally relate to the writing stuff. I have written a little here and there since Will was born, but I have an unfinished novel that is just quietly sitting there waiting for the baby stuff to be over. And I am afraid I don't really see the place when the baby stuff is going to be over and I can put so much of myself back into my writing.
I do have one friend who has kids (2) and writes still, and she says it all has to do with babysitters. She says, in fact, that it's the best $8.50/hour she's ever spent.
I think it's possible that childcare is the answer to every ill moms have.
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