It's 4 pm and I'm on my own for dinner and bedtime tonight. I had plans to go out with the kids this afternoon - Clark needs socks and Old Navy seemed a fun adventure - but then my friend and neighborly headache appeared and plans changed. Now we're going to spend the whole afternoon at home! Yay for a low key afternoon! Granola bars and hot chocolate with mini marshmallows! Hype it up as much as you can!
This minute I'm sitting on the couch with the kids watching Gnomio and Juliette, bemoaning my fate and blaming my headaches. Seriously. I would be a much more enjoyable human being to be around if there weren't hot nails behind my eyes. My poor kids. Oh well. This is simply their fate, their story; to have a mother who suffers from headaches. I've been having them every afternoon / evening for what feels like weeks running. No idea why. The botox didn't take as fully this time, no idea why about that either. Even back on my old diet, and still they linger.
Frances has been off today, from the moment she woke up. Everything's upsetting her to the point of tears. I was telling my friend H about it earlier, then later in the conversation I happened to mention Frances has her 5 year molars coming in, and it wasn't until I said it then that the connection occurred to me. Gave the girl some tylenol and - ta da ! - much better. Pain is an amazing mood killer.
I beat myself up a lot about my inability to be a sane human during bedtime. Yesterday (and maybe even earlier this morning) I had this fantasy about doing bedtime by myself all 3 nights Mitch is out of town, but at this moment (and not even dinnertime!) it's clear to me that is simply silly, an unwise discounting of my limitations. Limitations are bullies, you know; it's best to respect them.
Next botox treatment in a couple of days. Counting the hours. I wonder what kind of parent I'd be without them, and I wish I'd stop wondering that. They are what they are; I am who I am; my children will weather this too.
This minute I'm sitting on the couch with the kids watching Gnomio and Juliette, bemoaning my fate and blaming my headaches. Seriously. I would be a much more enjoyable human being to be around if there weren't hot nails behind my eyes. My poor kids. Oh well. This is simply their fate, their story; to have a mother who suffers from headaches. I've been having them every afternoon / evening for what feels like weeks running. No idea why. The botox didn't take as fully this time, no idea why about that either. Even back on my old diet, and still they linger.
Frances has been off today, from the moment she woke up. Everything's upsetting her to the point of tears. I was telling my friend H about it earlier, then later in the conversation I happened to mention Frances has her 5 year molars coming in, and it wasn't until I said it then that the connection occurred to me. Gave the girl some tylenol and - ta da ! - much better. Pain is an amazing mood killer.
I beat myself up a lot about my inability to be a sane human during bedtime. Yesterday (and maybe even earlier this morning) I had this fantasy about doing bedtime by myself all 3 nights Mitch is out of town, but at this moment (and not even dinnertime!) it's clear to me that is simply silly, an unwise discounting of my limitations. Limitations are bullies, you know; it's best to respect them.
Next botox treatment in a couple of days. Counting the hours. I wonder what kind of parent I'd be without them, and I wish I'd stop wondering that. They are what they are; I am who I am; my children will weather this too.
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1 comment:
I hope you someday find peace and a clear head. You are amazing for all you do with what you are dealing with. Children are resilient and they know love when they see it.
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