here again.

She's upstairs talking in her crib right now and I'm down here with the baby trying to breathe normally. I dreamed about the death of family members, grief and crying and ache, and I don't know why I can't look at the world with more humor and less angst. It's gray with rain out the window, or maybe morning just hasn't fully come on yet. It's hard to tell. Yesterday afternoon and evening were difficult but maybe it's not all me... maybe I should give us all some slack, as it's hard for a 2 year old to sit in the car for nearly 8 hours and, besides, to adjust back to being w/ mom and dad after such a (relative) long time away with grandparents. Have an appointment with a counselor but not for another 2 weeks... perhaps will call and see if he can work me in sooner.