easter chocolate sugar kids

I've read parenting books that say studies show sugar doesn't affect children's behavior. They say you should just let them self regulate, and I can't help but think


Have you never been around children??

We let the kids eat as much as they want on easter and halloween. I mean, I remember the glory of incredible indulgence, handfuls of little foil wrapped eggs; I remember that joy. I would hate to deprive them of that. But also - I want them to be able to connect the effects and their bodies. It's amazing how unaware of our bodies we can be. So sure; why not? Let them feel the glorious high of waaaaaayy too much sugar, and feel the crash of it too.

Yesterday we couldn't completely send them to the wolves, so we did force a cheese stick upon each before we let them descend upon their baskets. And I made them drink whole milk (glass after glass, good grief) as they downed their chocolates. There were a few jelly beans but if you're gonna go all out with a huge juicy mouthful of some kind of candy, I'm a firm believer that it really should be chocolate. I did get pastel peanut M&Ms in an attempt to counter the sugar with peanut protein. (In retrospect, I'd say that's like tossing pebbles into the grand canyon.) Clark ate his entire chocolate bunny before 7 am. It was about 7:30 when Frances said, "My tummy doesn't feel so good," and I hugged her and said, "I bet it doesn't." That girl loves sweets.

I hope it pays off in the end. Meantime, we spent a good bit of Sunday afternoon contending with meltdowns. They weren't so bad. A little loud, and somewhat frustrating, but not so bad. We were with a great big family who lovingly included us in their midday feast and one of the major meltdowns involved the four year old's wanting to be the one up to kick in the kickball game though his team was in the outfield.

It's tragic, being a child.

Point is: sugar makes for mini disasters. Anyone who wants proof of this is welcome to join us this halloween.

Not only that. Clark woke last night in a complete panic about an hour after bedtime, some kind of night terror. Poor guy. He was shaking and didn't at first even want me to hold him. I turned on the light so he could see where he was, could see he was awake. It was like he was still asleep and couldn't come out of it although his eyes were open and he was looking at me. He calmed down and let me rock him, but it took him a few moments. It was the worst one he's had in a while.

Later I slept blissfully, but apparently Mitch was up with Clark two thirds of the night. (I don't really know what that was about, but I'd be willing to bet the sugar has something to do with it.)

AND eating so much easter day means less leftover for me to eat. (I really lost control yesterday over the robin's egg malt balls. Hadn't had them in years. I suspect it was a nostalgia craving because my enjoyment of them was much greater than they deserved.) PLUS right now I'm at the tail end of my botox treatment period which means my headaches are hovering these days. Bummer for me easter didn't fall soon after a treatment.... Next one is April 18 yay yay yay! And then - behold! - that coconut cream egg behind the rice milk in the pantry is mine.

By the way, the eggs above we wrapped in rubber bands before dying. Aren't they lovely? 

dancing without rhythm = stumbling

Everything is falling apart over here. The kids were both terribly sick, high fevers, congestion, etc etc, and Frances missed school for a whole week. Which meant a week where everything got out of rhythm, a week with ridiculous amounts of TV. Then about the time they started to feel well, I got it too. And holy shit it's a killer of a flu. I now understand why Frances kept waking from her sweaty naps in tears. It just hurt, everywhere. Achiness and fever of 103 and bad bad bad headache and intense sinus pressure and congestion and awful awful. So though they were better, we were still house bound because I could barely drag my ass off the couch to pour them milk. And, again, lots of TV.

Over the weekend Mitch was a single parent because I spent the entirety of both days in bed. I think this was a major contributor to the fallingapartness because Mom was home, but they weren't allowed to see me. How odd that must seem. Once when I was barely awake I heard Frances open the door to the bedroom. She stood in the doorway a moment and watched me, and then quietly backed out and closed it behind her.

Then I discovered that this week is "February break". (What? Who has February break?! Those in the snowbelt, that's who; those in dire need of a trip to the tropics.) So off schedule again, everything askew.

To add to the pile, and in fact perhaps the biggest thing of all, Clark gave up his nap just days before they got sick. He would still like to be taking it, very much, and would gladly sleep 2 hours or more if I let him. But he was staying up until 10pm, which was simply not acceptable. So I cut the nap.

Now he's exhausted and still two and a half, and we have no rhythm to our days. I didn't realize how completely the day hinged on his nap. Now what to do? How to organize? Frankly, I haven't been very good at figuring it out because I can't seem to get well and therefore have no energy for creative parenting.

We have instituted a midday storytime which is helping. But even with that, I'm having to turn on the TV for them so I can nap. I'm just so exhausted....

I've been reading parenting books again, a terrible thing for my morale, this time Waldorf books that insist rhythm is the key to the universe. And to some degree I believe it is, at least when dealing with young children, which is what makes our lack of it so frustrating. I do believe a rhythm to the day gives them a feeling of security and connectedness, and this feeling of security is what they seem to be lacking. Perhaps this is partly the reason for the clinging, for Clark saying, "Mommy, I want you," even as he is wrapped around my leg. Frances said to me yesterday, "Mama, I never want to go away from you ever." I will need to hold onto that 10 years from now when she wants me not at all...

I do have a plan, and it includes storytime and quiet time and a daily walk. I'm waiting for it to either get a little warmer, or for me to feel a teeny bit better before I implement the last. There was one spring day last week (50 balmy degrees!), and most of the snow melted off the yards and up came the mud. We took our trikes outside, and it was glorious. Like coming up from the depths after the bends. Then that night it snowed, and now we're back to our regular 20 degree high and 6 degree low with constant flurries. But for a moment it was spring! It allowed me to see what our lives will be like soon enough. With spring outside the door I think I can get our footing, get a rhythm.

a parenting book to set you FREE

I figure since I espouse and talk about it I should probably read the actual Free Range Kids book. So I checked it out of the library last week (though I've interestingly been on a waiting list for a while... it's a popular item around here!) and have been motoring through it. And I LOVE it. It may change my life. So many of the things she suggests are things I was already practicing (I don't hover near my 2-year-old on the playground, for example, and he's a climber. Yes, he might fall, and he might get hurt, but he won't kill himself, and the independence he gains is worth more...) but I felt guilty about them, even while believing they were right.

Oh if she can lift my guilt. So far it's working.

Also, she's got the statistics. She tells you how many kids have been abducted randomly (it's fewer than you think) and what the actual risk is if you want to let them walk down the block to Josie's house by themselves. She addresses directly the hysteria about not being able to let them out of your sight, gives you the actual numbers and lets you decide if our reactions are out of proportion. (Okay, she goes ahead and tells you they are in fact out of proportion, and even how we got to this ridiculous place.)

She has a whole chapter about how you should not read parenting books (except for hers, of course, she says cheekily) because parenting "experts" only serve to tell you what you're doing wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Well intentioned though they may be. (She also points out how completely absurd and unfounded and incorrect some of their suggestions are, and though they may go against our better judgement, we feel the "experts" must know more than we do, and so, if not trying to implement something because it feels wrong to us, we feel guilty....)

She's got a lot of good sense. Go read it! Or at least look at her blog.