Thursday, July 5, 2007

Quick hello and introduction


My baby is already 9 months old. In some ways I wish I had begun this blog much earlier in my mama days, but I was lucky to get through those first weeks with any shred of dignity, much less with writing to show. Besides, Anne Lamott caught that time pretty accurately in Operating Instructions (a great book).

Her name is Frances Eleanor. She is a bit of a drama queen, her responses often so completely out of proportion to the situation. She has only a patch of hair on the very top of her head; thinks she should be able to always feed herself; squints her eyes shut in the cutest flirt; is unabashed about staring; throws a fit if I won't let her pull my hair; loves the dog more than anything. Does every parent think their baby is the cutest baby ever to exist on earth? I suspect so. Frances is seriously cute, has seriously won my heart, seriously tests my patience and makes me confront, over and over, who it is I want to be. So far I'm doing all right. I have a lot of support from other wonderful mamas with babes near her age. This helps enormously, to not feel you're swimming all alone in the cold dark waters. And they can be cold, let me tell you.

I teach English at a small university and am currently off for the summer. Initially going back to work (when she was 3 months) was a good thing, as my patience didn't wear all that well when she was tiny. Now I'm loving being home with her and wish I didn't have to go back. But, as my husband is finishing up graduate school, we need my full time income. It's possible that I'll be able to stay home when he's more gainfully employed.

I was 35 when she was born--a solidly GenX mom. This means some pretty specific things about my mothering identity, but we'll have to get to that in another post. This is just an introduction. I've always wanted to be a mom--was one of those little girls who dreamed of being a bride and named my future kids. And here I am. Here we are. We'll see if we can explore it some in print.

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