Tuesday, May 20, 2008

mush mush mush

My brain is mush. Only 10 days left in our lovely house; 10 days in the south; 10 days before the new life. If my brain weren't so mushy I could perhaps think about what it all might mean. Instead, I walk in circles trying to remember what I'm supposed to be doing, which generally is changing a diaper.

I actually had about 2 hours away from both kids recently (and without my husband, incidentally) and it was wonderful. I felt light, physically lighter, nearly giddy. I hung out at a friend's house with several other folks and they were asking what life is like for me these days. Having an actual moment to sit and think about that (a rarity), I was able to consider what indeed it is like. It was an interesting thought--to realize how completely different my life is from what it was; how being a mom of two little little ones is not as hard as I thought it would be, but it is totally and absolutely consuming. It is what I do, all I do. It is who I am. I'm rather surprised to find myself here. Not only that, but I'm enjoying it. I'm tired and frequently exasperated, but on a fundamental level I'm really happy. (how interesting...)

Still, the mush that is the brain.

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