I feel incapable these days of writing well on this blog. I have this ache in the pit of my stomach nearly all the time but I have so little ability to describe it well. I know one of the major characteristics of depression is the lack of insight--the forest for the trees and all that. I initially wanted this blog to explore challenges of being a mom rather than be a place to simply dump my feelings, yet I feel when I write about ppd that I'm just unloading like I would in a journal, not making interesting connections or observations about parenting. Then again, ppd is part of parenting--certainly my parenting experience right now. And this is my blog, after all. Writing about how I walk around feeling like I'm going to either throw up or burst into tears isn't interesting or helpful, however. Yet there it is--that's my experience.
Today the way I tackled it was to slow down. To try to realize that nothing needs to be done N O W, that it's okay if the schedule gets off, if naps are delayed, if we get to school late. It's not important. Perspective. It's hard to have.