embarrassment

A funny thing: I find I’m embarrassed about the pregnancy. We wanted our babies this close, talked about its happening, made an active decision to try again for another. Was not an accident. But then, I find when I have to say it, I feel silly because I have such a young baby. But what is it that I’m embarrassed about? Do I worry that folks will think we are irresponsible and cavalier? Foolish? (It’s quite possible we are indeed foolish.) Yesterday I went to the OB for them to confirm the pregnancy—the girl that waited on me at the front desk is the same girl I saw (very) frequently at the end of my pregnancy with Frances just last September. Since Frances was so late, I was there every couple of days, and the receptionists would see us and say sweetly, “No baby yet?! I don’t want to see you back here again.” Yesterday Frances was in her stroller and the girl recognized me and smiled, said, “Oh, I wanna see the baby!” Then she asked what she could do for me and I said, “I’m here for a pregnancy test.” I could feel myself blush. How funny of me. She said, “You all don’t waste any time, do you?” I suppose that’s not an inappropriate response….