mother love

My son is in love with me. It's one of those Mommy Infatuation stages that I have the gall to hope will go on forever. He cradles my face in his hands, kisses me on the mouth, says "Love. You." When I pick him up from the kid area at the gym (where he's happily waved goodbye to me only an hour ago), he runs to me, hollers Mommy!, literally leaps into my arms. He squeezes my neck as tightly as he's able, then puts his hands on my cheeks, says, "Missed. You." He gazes at me and smiles, a smile so sweet, so complete, it seems as if there is nothing else at all in his world. He's totally present.

He wants me all to himself. Last week Frances was having a hard time one evening, was mad at her Dad because he was at that moment the one holding the line, so I sat her on my lap and let her tell me why she was so upset. And Clark couldn't take it--fell apart apart apart, his heart breaking because I wouldn't let him climb on my lap between Frances and me. Finally he agreed to settle beside us, snuggled down with his blanket and his thumb, tucked under my arm.

Sometimes I look at his full lips and think that someday a girl (or a guy, I suppose) is going to kiss those very lips, will gaze into his blue eyes, and she/he will feel something related to what I feel now--she will feel enamored. But for now he's all mine.