Monday, June 7, 2010

grouchy #2

I'm so grumpy I can hardly stand myself. At this very minute both kids are in super needy mommy stages and no one else seems to be able to do anything for them. Things like wash their hair or read bedtime books or hand them their sippy cups off the counter although dad is standing right beside the cups and I am all the way across the room.

Today when Frances was trying to get me to play with her and I was being a stickinthemud about it, I said, "You'll be glad when Katie (her sitter) gets here, won't you? She's a better player than I am."

"No, you're a better player, Mommy."

"Why?" I asked. "How am I a better player?"

"Because I love you, Mommy," she said.

Awww.

But still.

And we've seriously got to get Clark's screaming thing under control. I am that parent in the grocery store parking lot, the one you shake your head at, whether from disdain or sympathy it's hard to say. He's old enough now (2 plus 3 months) that he can understand it's not okay (though I say that very thing a hundred times a day... apparently I need a different approach). The screaming really gets to me and contributes heavily to the grumpiness. It feels so invasive, almost as intrusive as when he climbs me like a jungle gym (which is often). Plus, he's getting really willful. Mitch pointed out that Frances used to say NO a lot, to which you can at least respond, "yes you will". But Clark just acts like I haven't spoken, doesn't turn his head when I call his name, walks off doing the thing I'm hollering for him to stop. To which you can only say, "dammit Clark!"

I'm touched out. I just want to sit by myself in our little woods in back of the yard and have no one touch me. Multiple times a day I find myself carrying them both because neither one agreed it was enough to just hold my hand. "Hold hold!" Clark says. "Uppy!" Sometimes I've got Clark on my hip and Frances in a piggy back and I just hope I don't slip as I'm coming down the stairs.

PLUS, as I mentioned before, Clark's climbing out of his bed and staying up until all hours of the night. It won't be like this forever. One day I'll have time to myself again. This is my mantra.

3 comments:

Paige said...

Cali, both of mine are in extreme Mommy only phases and I agree it is SO SO SO annoying. Marley is also in a horrible tantrum-y phase - she says "I don't wan' it" over and over while crying/being boneless on the floor bc she doesn't want me to hold her - and Oh Lord it is a horrible phase please let it be over soon.

Re C climbing out of his bed - you gotta take the crib down, and put a gate up at the door - that way he can't get out of the room but you don't have to shut the door.

Have Kendall here now - took my first trip somewhere with the three of them by myself and OMG it is going to be SO hard. We just went to the library, it went fine - but it was def more complicated. Also, went to the Beach Within Reach today (our local pond has a little beach) - had David with me and it went fine, but realized there is absolutely NO way I can take all 3 of them swimming by myself.

andrea said...

Not sure this will make you feel better, or worse. My five year old just had a tantrum for over an hour about cleaning up his toys so he could watch TV with his brother.
Then he hit me (as a spiteful slapping 5 year old can) and lost his privilege altogether. (He made his consequence for hurting another person... loosing TV.) This did not make it better.
Needless to say he went to bed without eating dinner but did manage to calm down and look through three Where's Waldo Books with me. I sang to him and he was asleep by 7:30.
His tantrums are ridiculous and frustrating and I am drinking a beer.
Luckily I still love him to his core.
It is some how comforting to know that others are have WTF moments and still pressing on looking for a new morning and a new kind of day.

Here's hoping tomorrow brings us hugs and lots of Yes's.

~andrea

Cali said...

good gracious andrea. i don't know if that makes me feel better or not... def not that it's still going on at 5, but i am glad to hear about the beer part (really). yes, i does help to hear about others' wtf moments, doesn't it? that's the point of this blog, really. because sometimes if people don't say it you think you're the only one...

paige--yes, someone else mentioned taking down the crib and putting up a gate but a couple of things: one, a gate would slow him down for maybe 15 seconds. when i mentioned the idea to mitch he actually laughed. (i have a monkey for a son.) and two, i sort of don't get the suggestion about taking the crib down; is it just so he doesn't fall when he's climbing out? he's pretty adept at it..........

and about having kendall there too--you can do it! wait wait, that wasn't good enough. let me say it again: YOU CAN DO IT, SISTER!! i'm sorry it's so hard. that's the pits. YOU CAN DO IT! please please get a sitter lined up on a regular basis. i have faith in you! and remember--it won't go on like this forever. (really!) YOU CAN DO IT!