Friday, November 7, 2008

posting while waiting for the sitter

It's been a big week for the boy. Just two days shy of 8 months old and he's crawling. Also--a tooth! Oh, the excitement. Clark The Amazing; he stands! he crawls! he sprays his strained peas! He's also (still) the jolliest little gumdrop ever. It's a lot of fun to watch the development of the 2nd one. With the first one you're so shell shocked and fearful that anything they try will result in injury. With Frances I also felt guilty anytime she played by herself. I knew in my head that this kind of solitary focused attention was good for her, was her way of learning, but I couldn't stop feeling that I should be interacting with her, helping her learn, teaching her. Clark, by contrast, has all kinds of opportunity to play uninterrupted, to pull himself up on Frances's toy box (a lidless wicker crate) and fish things out to put in his mouth or to bang together. When he's entertained like that I feel no guilt at all--what I feel is relief for the moment of peace, as well as excitement that he's learning. It's very clear to me that my presence would only interrupt.

I have a load of laundry in the wash, one in the dryer, five more separated out on the floor of the laundry room, plus a load of diapers to wash. Do you think the logic holds that if we had less clothes we'd have less laundry? Maybe I'll throw out half of everyone's wardrobe. I have a friend with 4 boys under 6 (crazy!) and she recently told me she has eight (eight!) loads of clean laundry in her dining room that she can't find the time to fold.

The sitter should be here any minute. This morning I was reminded that the anxiety hasn't left the building, though for now it's mostly backstage. It's a really nice day here (really nice for Nov), the last of the warm days probably until spring, and I had this mini breakdown because I have a sitter coming and shouldn't I be out playing in the sun w/ Frances this afternoon rather than have a sitter here with her? While the sitter is here I will run a couple of quick errands and then I am going walking w/ a neighbor. I don't know why I feel I shouldn't enjoy the sunshine myself--on a walk with an adult--rather than with the kids. Anyway, I got over it and am now excited I get to experience the lovely sunshine without being distracted by general kid chaos. Yippee!

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